S is for Surrender ☯️
(and for Sabotage)
I am writing this Monday morning. I didn’t even think to write anything here for the last two weeks because life do be like that sometimes, and it’s okay, I’ve just learned to let it. We show up anyway, do what we said we were going to do, even if it’s not very planned out or, hell, even very good.
Hope everyone is managing what seems to be phase 2 of the 2020 Global Covid Pandemic. If you need a friend, reach out. I like talking to people.
And so, due to lack of time and energy, we’re just going to dive in today…
According to the dictionary, one example of Surrender is to give (oneself) over to something (such as an influence).
Surrender sounds bad, like a negative thing, or at least it’s become associated with such things in our Western society. We don’t want to surrender, we want to fight, stand our ground, defeat the evil. Ultimately, we want to win. But I’m not sure if you noticed how this game called life works… No side ever wins. No side ever loses either. Really, it’s just a game where one side always seems to be losing, but never does. Whenever one evil is defeated, another one arises somewhere else, causing us to never relent—to never surrender.
“It isn’t that the evil thing wins — it never will — but that it doesn’t die.” —John Steinbeck
The longer I am alive the more the Yin/Yang symbol and what it represents resonates for me —Yin/Yang being or comprising opposite and especially complementary elements. We are more than mere mortals, mere humans; we are forces of nature. Nature is chaotically perfect, just like we are. We are nature.
I believe I’m in the surrender. I’ve been surrendering to life the last few years. I’ve been giving up the things that don’t nurture and vivify me, and have begun to find replacements that do, like, water, nature, good friends, and a damn good therapist. Before this surrender I was in a constant state of sabotage. I was so desperate to fit in and be liked and be loved—I wanted love like a drug. Love, for as glorious as it is, sure makes you do some dumb shit in an attempt to find it.
I no longer spend all of my energy looking for love, or for pointing out the evil (this isn’t to say that I don’t still do both of these things on occasion). I do my best to take that energy and invest it back into myself. This will look a lot of different ways for a lot of different people, and that’s just as well. We each must uncover what gives us honest, resourceful power and apply it; bonus points if you use it to help others as well. Honestly, you kind of find you do help other the more you help yourself. You become a beacon for what is possible, and you have no idea how this helps others.
Don’t spend all your energy (all of the time) trying to drain the evil’s energy (although sometimes ya just gotta)—it is a wellspring that will not cease. Fortify and strengthen your own wellspring that is untapped and waiting for your attention. Surrender. Perhaps that is how the evil ceases, when we strengthen the good within ourselves.