Greetings Mortals,
Welcome to your bi-weekly newsletter where I redefine the modern day existential crisis one newsletter at a time. Wheeeeeeeee!
I wanted to talk about goals today.
Mostly because I tend to be someone who *is not* generally an advocate of them, especially after watching this speech (shown below) some years ago:
(Just the first minute or so gets to the point I’m going to do my best with these written words to demonstrate, but it’s a great little video if you have time for all of it.)
What do you think?
I thought, what a relief! I don’t have to have a dream?! (Which at the time I equated with goals). This is great, I’m so glad someone said this because I’ve been told all of my life to get a dream and have it make me lots of money while saving the planet, or some shit. Re-watching it now I realize he does go on to say, “Be someone who has passionate dedication to the pursuit of short-term goals.” So he is for goals - little ones. And I like that because they are much easier to achieve if they are attainable, and you can build momentum from there. But I did not pick up on that at the time. I instead took a very nihilistic approach to his words and thought, cool. I don’t have to do anything with my life! Yay!
“The end of a melody is not its goal; but nonetheless, if the melody would not have reached its end it would not have reached its goal either. A parable.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
It’s true, we don’t really have to do anything with our lives. There is no known cosmic order that gives each of us billions of humans a purpose, other than to survive. And for a very short period of time; a blink of an eye really. But survive we did/are! And in our survival we also woke up to our curiosity, and wonder, and creativity. And what a fun off-shoot that’s been for us out of the brutal terror our ancient ancestors must have faced in our earliest dawn… thank you, ancestors. We owe ya one…
I digress.
The video also goes on to say, “Be micro-ambitious.” And this is the part that really stuck with me - almost to a fault - which I’ll explain soon; but if you think about it, it is much more forgiving to embrace the fact that we don’t have to be the most ambitious person in the room and can still have a meaningful life. It’s okay if we are not the founder of Google or a non-profit that creates clean water for people without it. I think this feels icky to accept as true because we are fervently told from the time we are born that we should be very successful, caring, rich, famous, valuable, hard-working, climbing that corporate ladder, saving the planet, etc. etc. (Especially here in America - which it should be noted this is a very American-centric viewpoint.)
How many times have you heard: “You only get this one life! You have to do and see and be all that you can be or you majorly FAILED!” Maybe not this sentence exactly, but you understand the sentiment, yes? This video was the first instance of something saying to me: You don’t have to feed into the lie of capitalism and consumerism, that we are all special and just have to uncover our hidden little gem of a talent or truth, and then make millions from it, but first - BUY THIS THING SO YOU CAN GET THERE.
So we buy the thing, and we keep buying the things but we keep not figuring out our hidden gem of a talent that makes us millions because guess what - that’s the exception and not the rule, and most of us are just pretty subpar humans. But what even is a subpar human? - whose standard are we holding ourselves to? And that my friends, is the real question. Because if we think we are subpar by subpar’s standards, we will always believe we must transcend it. And how, if I'm only micro-ambitious will I ever get to be ultra-bitious? (lol)
Here’s the thing. I have no clue. I don’t know if some people are pre-destined to be rulers of the world and some are not — I’d like to hope not. I do believe some of us got luckier than others in the gene lottery, and at the same time, I believe how we view reality does shape a lot of it; certainly how we experience it. So, if you don’t think you’re ever going to be successful - you may not be. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t in some aspect or to another individual who has far less. Just think, there are some people who are wildly successful who may not even view themselves as successful! They may still be waiting for that hug from their dad that they thought the presidency would feel like. (🖕Donald Trump - please seek help.)
The truth is we are not special. And I know I am not the first nor the last person to say this.
And if you think about it, not even the “special” people are special for very far or long being that we all came out of the same glorious hole (a vagina) and we will all meet the same fate (death). To be special is relative concept. My boyfriend thinks I’m the most amazing human that ever lived… and yet, I think Paul Rudd is. You see?
In reality, we are just one speck in a gigantic void of happenings. But what is also true at the same exact time, is that somehow the speck woke up and started to think and feel and become aware that it is in this void of happenings. We the specks were able to look out into the void and name its parts, and stake claim as a vantage point within it. We the specks are part of the void - we are the void - and we know it! (Well some of us do…)
The point is - what I think I am trying to say is - is that we are incredibly lucky to be here; alive, breathing, on this planet that supports the very things we need to be alive. It is rare that we are here.
It is fleeting.
It is all we have, and it is all we may ever get.
This does seem to place a lot of pressure on things; things being figuring out who we are and what we’re doing so we can survive in this absurd and oftentimes insane landscape. But the pressure is objective, and you don’t have to buy into any pressure you don’t want. Do you want a goal? Then get a goal, and if you chose that goal, then why not believe whole-heartedly you are worthy of that goal? Don’t want a goal? Great! Join the club (my club). You don’t have to have a goal.
What it is that we get to do is reframe and repurpose meaning however we need to so we can arrive at our death with bells on. And that is the magic of it all. It’s a lot of circumstance, but it’s also a whole lot of how you look at the circumstances. It is all you, my friend. We are co-creating reality and we can make whatever of it we wish to which is not a practice of perfection but rather curiosity. The only pressure is the pressure we place on ourselves, and honestly, I’d like to see us learn to breathe better more than anything else. I’d love to see us take some dang ol’ pressure off!
And just think… if all the pressure is off, then what are we free to do? Does pressure create or destroy? Maybe it’s a mix! I’d like to think it’s all a big mix of everything in the cosmic soup - you are but one ingredient. So let’s start where we are. Maybe you will go on to found the next multi-million dollar idea. I hope you do, and if you don’t, that’s okay, too. The fact you are even here is the point. The whole point is just to be alive, to take a breath, in a moment, on a day, on a planet, in a Universe, and say wow - I get to be here? Wow. Maybe just start by drinking some water today…
You’re already doing the damn thing. This is the thing! Love ya.
Oh and, the title of this newsletter asked what are goals good for? Did I answer that? Can’t say I did - Oh well - I am imperfect and exist in multitudes. Thanks for reading!