Greetings my sweet, beautiful friends.
Hereās some housekeeping before we get into the bi-weekly words:
Thanks again for joining me over here on the āstackā. I hope youāll enjoy this new interface! Wix was giving me hell and instead of calling them and dealing with it like an adult, I decided to just not, and instead went back to something easy and intuitive. Call me human.
As a reminder, you are receiving this newsletter because Iām a fan of sharing myself authentically with other humans, be it online or in person. Ambiguity is the theme here. I have a new obsession of finding words and re-working them to fit the narrative I want, or rather, the one that makes the most sense to me. And so Iām sharing these words and their new meanings with you - here - in this bi-weekly newsletter; along with other ramblings of being human, and feeling lost and then found, and a whole slew of our flesh and blood-ness.
Iāll still be sharing my writing in here, though itās becoming scattered all over the place, and isnāt that exactly what I want? I have my first ever zine for sale on my other website here. Thereās also a few issues for sale at my friendās record store, Whatās Left Records, in Colorado Springs. Neato! If youāre in the area you may want to pick one up, and say hello to the owner Bryan Ostrow because heās one of the coolest males alive on planet Earth. Iāve been sharing my blogs on Medium lately. It allows me access to more humans because I guess thatās kind of the goal - for more humans to read my writing, and then *only* send me kind things about how brave and wondrous I am. Right? Thatās why we do creative things, right? To be reminded that we are in fact worthy of doing the things we feel pulled to doā¦ right?
Maybe there once was a time (maybe there is still a time) in me that craves that, but Iām really ādoing the workā to invest in my creativity just for the sake of being creative. To write to write. To share it to share it. To be open to be open. To believe in myself for the sake that if itās all an empty void we must fill for ourselves, then why the hell wouldnāt I do what I feel pulled to do?
Thanks for being here :)
Todayās Words:
Maybe Iām Wrong (a concept):
Maybe I donāt have it all figured out.
Maybe I donāt need to have it all figured out. Maybe there is no way I could possibly have it all figured out being that there are literal endless, eternal ways of being and perceiving the world at any given moment; and I am just one vantage point in the sea of perceptions, perspectives, and opinions. Maybe none of these other vantage points are fully right and none of them are fully wrong, they just are. Maybe the more I try to understand every single way of being, the more complicated things become, and so I must also provide myself space to digest what I bite into.
Maybe some of these ways of being will resonate more for me than they will for you/others. Maybe some of these ways of being are more inclined to cause harm and make less sense. Maybe there is a spectrum, and where weāre at on it varies depending on who weāve been taught to be. Maybe that isnāt who we have to be. This is something to sit with, unpack, feel, begin. Warm yourself up to the reality that just because youāve always been a way doesnāt mean you always have to be that way.
And keep in mind that in theory, anything that happens on Earth is allowed to happen. The laws of nature are vastly different from the laws we construct, which are mostly imagined fictions to instill a sense of order on what we deem chaotic. But in my opinion, nature is chaotically perfect, and we forget we are nature - and we are too. We only truly have the laws of psychics ruling our actions at any given moment. There is no morality in reality, itās a human-made construct, and a very useful one - at times. Until we weaponize it by judging and shaming others for who they are and arenāt being.
I read once in a book by Eckhart Tolle that the need to be right is an act of violence. Let this sit with you for today, and maybe for the entire week, and then maybe your whole life. Think about the world and what the need to be right has led to. Come to your own conclusions. Iām not saying his words are fact, but they piqued some of my edges within. Who does being right serve, and why? Is there a time and a place to be right? Then there must be a time to be wrong, also, because we cannot be right all of the time - how would we ever learn?
Iāve been wrong many times in my life, Iāve maybe been right sometimes, too. Neither of these instances became clear until I had some hindsight to truly observe them. Sometimes things make sense in the moment that wonāt always make sense ie: how marriage can turn into divorce. Sometimes what didnāt make sense at the time ends up being one of the greatest things that ever happened to you ie: how that divorce led you to meet the new amazing person youāre smitten with now. The more distance we have from a situation, the more we are able to actually see it (distance doesnāt necessarily have to equal time, distance can also be perspective, but often we do need some time). We are an event, not any singular idea, and we are expansive beyond any storyline we have of ourselves and others.
What if we remember at any given moment - maybe Iām wrong. And maybe thatās okay. Maybe being wrong is how we find out how to be less wrong when we remain open to it. Maybe being right is overrated. Letās all come down from our pedestals, lets take everyone else off of theirs in our mind as well. Letās get to reality. Letās learn about our own reality. Letās learn about how much of it is ours and how much of it is inherited that we need not be carrying anymore. Letās forgive everyone.
None of us are just right or just wrong. Weāre human.
And I love you, all of you, even the real shitty ones ;)
P.S. I write this for you as much as for me. I struggle to live all that I say, but this helps me reinforce who Iād like to be in the world, so thanks for sharing this with me :)
Iām linking a song that will help you understand your whole entire life here. Have the best bi-weeks ever, until next time! XO